Monday, August 17, 2009

Life is unpredicable but at least it's never dull

Journaling again...Sorry
Hello Blog reading friends! It has been a little while since I've written a real blog. I haven't had a lot to say because we haven't done exciting things and I was kind of in a little depressed funk and not in the mood to write!

So I finally made up my mind and if I change it again I give ALL of you permission to come smack me.

Here's the story...
For the last 2.5 months I have devoted my life to job hunting. Interview after interview, resume after resume! It has been absolutely MISERABLE. Even jobs that I interviewed well for were turning me down. I had one job that practically started training me and then called and said things have changed and now we aren't hiring. Add that to the fact that I thought we were about 5 seconds away from not having enough money to be alive and it's no wonder I wasn't exactly a blogging maniac.

This led to some serious confusion on my part so naturally I had to ask Heavenly Father what the heck I was doing wrong! Do I just need to be patient or am I way off track? At one point a little thought flickered - finish your dumb degree. I hoped it was just a thought and nothing more but I still entertained the idea for theory purposes only. Despite my resistance, the more I thought about it the more sense it made however, there were still issues. As you may remember one of my reasons for leaving was that I thought my major had dumb classes. If I went back those dumb classes would still need to be taken. NEXT I got a postcard from my department that said DO AN INTERNSHIP! and it was like huh I think real world experience is a brilliant alternative to repetative busy work and pointless reading. Problem solved. Then I told Ryan how stressed I was about money and he said that it was unnecessary. He explained to me where we really are financially and how substantially it differed from where I thought we were. On top of that I realized that going back would A) put my old loans on interest hold, B) make it possible for me to qualify for subsidized loans to pay off Ryan's unsubsidized ones and C) get pell grants while I still qualify.
I had gotten to the point where I was applying for cashier jobs at Ross and when we really thought about it, in the long run it would be so much better for me to have any degree (regardless of how silly the name of it sounds) than to have a year of cashiering experience under my belt. (You know since I got plenty of that done at age 16.)

The cool thing is Ryan will finish his masters at almost exactly the same time as I finish my bachelors! We aren't positive if he will get anything done while he is at home with Kaylee and taking his classes online but I've already had one offer of assistance with the wild child so hopefully it'll all work out.

Other than that the plan is still to someday open a restaurant and be able to afford a house and second child :) I may even put a small studio in the restaurant. YAY

1 comment:

The Rawlins Fam said...

I hope all the right doors will open for you. I know you'll do great at anything you put your heart into. Decisions are sometimes very hard for some people as highly talented as you!!!